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A Day in the Life of an HAES Fitness Trainer
Reprinted
from Health
At Every Size Journal
by Cinder Ernst
Spring 2005
VOL. 19 / NO. 2
©2005 Gürze Books
My
workday begins at 6 a.m. at World Gym in San Francisco.
I am a size 14 personal trainer and aerobics instructor.
I have been self-employed for over 15 years and I specialize
in working with large folks from an HAES point of view.
I am a certified Medical Exercise Specialist. In this
article I will take you through an average day of personal
training, which includes clients of different sizes,
various fitness levels, and varying levels of self-acceptance.
In reporting the details of how I do what I do, I hope
to convey an idea of how I help to get people moving
and how I inspire them to keep going.
Before
I get to the case studies I will give you some background
on my beliefs and practices. I have always been an active
person, and I have always been a little too large to
fit into mainstream ideals. I spent most of my teens,
twenties, and thirties trying to change the size and
shape of my body by any means necessary. In 1989 I was
introduced to the size acceptance community here in
San Francisco and I realized that as an accomplished
fitness instructor I had a lot to offer just as I was.
I began my journey to self-acceptance, and began to
build my business around who I was, not what I was "supposed"
to look like. I am now well known and respected as a
leading expert in fitness for fat folks. I have prospered
not only financially but I am rich in spirit, personal
growth, and friendships from being true to my beliefs,
my clients and myself.
Case
Study 1: Fern
I train Fern on Mondays and Wednesdays at 6 a.m. She
has been a client for 12 years. Fern is 53 years old.
She started working out 11 years ago at a weight of
400 pounds. She hit a plateau of 300 pounds for several
years and then her weight started to creep up. Last
year she decided to have gastric bypass surgery. Fern
is an RN and she researched her procedure carefully
and thoroughly before she made her decision. Fern was
a great candidate due to her fantastic fitness level
and her strong-headed personality. She had been working
out about five days each week for 12 years. As her trainer,
I decided to be neutral about her choice, and simply
support her exercise needs throughout her process. I
know there is much controversy about this surgery, how
it is marketed, and how harmful it can be. If I made
Fern feel wrong for making the choice to have surgery,
she might not have been able to continue her workouts
in her familiar and relaxed way. One of the big lessons
I have learned from the size acceptance community is
to work with people however they show up. My main concern
is to keep people mobile and exercising, no matter what.
Case
Study 2: Lynn
At 7 a.m. I work with Lynn. Lynn is a client who started
with me in January this year; she is a "newbie."
Lynn is in her fifties and she is a small woman, maybe
a size 12. She has a peaceful demeanor and is an RN
who has been doing hospice work for the past year. She
mentioned to me at the beginning of our relationship
that she was overweight, and part of her motivation
for exercising was weight loss. I find that many people
have that motivation. Here's how I handled the "I
want to lose weight" situation with Lynn. Because
she was not over anxious about it, I just assured her
that exercise would dramatically improve her health
and well-being and I said it would be best to focus
on that first. Two months later, she brought up the
topic of diets. What program do I recommend? At that
time I explained to her that it is common for personal
trainers to take on the role of diet consultants, but
that I never do. I don't because I firmly believe that
how you help people to be joyously active is to keep
food issues out of the exercise environment. I always
separate food from fitness. If someone's workout is
about losing weight or being on a diet, then when the
diet ends (and they always do) the exercise usually
stops. I also will not take on the role of "food
police" because that eventually becomes a barrier
to exercise. After further conversation on the topic,
I recommended that Lynn see a nutritionist to work out
a way of eating that would work for her lifestyle and
personality. I put a request on our local HAES e-mail
list and got a recommendation for her.
Being
in the fitness business I am constantly faced with people
wanting to lose weight. I find those folks benefit greatly
from being around me because of my self-accepting attitude.
Although I believe that everyone has the ability to
make sensible eating decisions without a diet, I don't
push my beliefs on anyone. I lead with a positive accepting
attitude and I allow time and fun exercise help people
take a healthy course. Being on a diet, obsessing about
food and weight, and hating yourself is a scenario most
people know all too well. In a very subtle way, I lead
my clients down a road where they can often make peace
with their bodies. For the hour that they are with me,
I don't let my clients talk badly about themselves.
Eventually they learn to stop thinking poorly of their
bodies. I help folks use exercise to build a strong,
healthy body and to build a positive relationship with
that body.
Case
Study 3: Carol
At
8 a.m. I train Carol. She is a super size, long time
fat activist. Carol practices law and is one of the
most kind, loving and generous people I know. An interesting
thing about Carol, which I also find with other folks
that can afford a personal trainer, is that they are
"type A" personalities. This driven and giving
personality often leads to people not saving time for
their own needs. Carol is nearing 60 years old and her
knees are giving out. Having been caught in the cycle
of losing mobility due to knee pain and becoming less
mobile, her fitness level has decreased and the knee
pain has worsened. I recommended that Carol take 8 weeks
and make working out a priority, maybe do less volunteer
work for a short period of time. I thought that whether
the outcome was knee replacement surgery or more mobility
and decreased pain, she'd be the winner. The better
the fitness level a person has going into any surgery
the better the outcome is likely to be. This is especially
true of knee surgery. So we've been trying to do at
least two workouts a week. If Carol can't get to the
gym, I'll stop by her house and we'll chair dance and
stretch. Her partner told me that they recently took
their dogs for a little walk and did their exercises
on a bench in the park. Carol is getting some mobility
back. She has also scheduled an appointment with the
NFL San Francisco 49er's top knee surgeon. Carol figured
someone who works on big football players would be a
good choice for a knee surgeon. During Carol's workout
we do a lot of upper body strengthening. We do sitting
quadriceps sets, leg stretches, and upright biking.
I use props that are available in my gym to make steps
so Carol can get up on the bike. This 8-week plan is
working; Carol is feeling stronger and better.
One
of my colleagues in the gym wondered why I was not trying
to have Carol lose weight. She gave me recommendations
on how I could increase metabolism, make Carol work
harder and burn more calories. This part of the story
leads to two points. One is that people assume that
large folks are tough, the bigger the tougher. I find
this to be really untrue. One of my gifts is that I
see the delicate parts of people and I can take good
care of people because of that insight. I start with
small amounts of exercise and build from there. Most
of my clients have been training with me for a long
time, many of them for 15 years. The second assumption
is that any big person is of course trying to lose weight.
This territory is sticky and uncomfortable for everyone,
big and small. And everyone has so many feelings about
themselves and others. I have stopped trying to explain
my beliefs to other fitness professionals. And I try
not to judge anyone for his or her beliefs. I do what
I think is right and leave it at that. I imagine professionals
in other fields run into this resistance to non-diet
approaches and I wanted to share my experience.
My
Turn
At 9 a.m. it's my turn. I'm glad to have a free hour
here and there so I can do my own workout in the gym.
I began lifting weights 20 years ago. My motivator was
an old school friend who was a body builder. I loved
weight lifting from the first trip to the gym. I learned
the principle of concentrating on the muscle being worked
during the exercise and I really felt strong and grounded
physically. When I began my self-acceptance, non-diet
journey, I started to look at exercise differently.
At that time I stopped doing any exercise I didn't like
or want to do. I haven't done the Stairmaster since.
I have continued to love lifting weights. As I got older
I started to accumulate injuries and develop various
chronic pains. This has forced me to moderate my workouts,
a tough lesson for me to learn. I had to swallow my
pride and live what I teach. I was forced to listen
to my body and do the workout that was right for me,
no matter what anyone else thought. The insane fitness
environment that I work in sometimes challenges me.
But I have come to enjoy many interesting exercise techniques
that I have learned through my own injuries and rehabilitation.
For instance, I do challenging core stability exercises
to keep my hip joints feeling good. I have also learned
a great quadriceps strengthening routine that seems
to keep my knee pain in check.
Case Study 4: June
I
move now to my latest star student, June. She arrives
at noon. June started working out recently and she took
to lifting weights like a duck to water. She is strong,
competent and loves to "pump iron." June actually
reminds me of myself; maybe that's why she is my star
student. JuneÕs therapist recommended her to me 7 years
ago; it takes what it takes. I know that larger people
often have a lot of resistance to starting an exercise
program. The resistance sometimes comes from bad experiences
in school gym situations or from past fitness encounters.
I learned another facet of this struggle from June.
She is an incest survivor. I will let her words tell
you:
"I
want to speak about the part of our work together that
is incredibly powerful for me as an incest survivor.
Survivors of incest very often learn to leave our bodies
early and repeatedly as a kind of instinctual protection
(dissociation). Dissociation occurs as a response to
other types of abuse or trauma, but in my experience
I have seen it more often and to a more extreme degree
related to sexual abuse (especially incest). Though
dissociation helps us as children to endure physically
and emotionally overwhelming experiences—it can
result in our bodies becoming very problematic for us
as adults as it had for me.
Your
approach—being so grounded in helping your clients
pay attention to how we are feeling in the moment in
our bodies, as opposed to how much exercise we are "supposed"
to be able to do, how much weight we are "supposed"
to be able to lift, or how our bodies are "supposed"
to look is a perfect therapeutic approach for survivors
who had their bodies sexualized and objectified as children
and in response, cut off from their bodies in order
to survive psychologically. I feel as if I'm finally
reclaiming and integrating my physical self—and
I continue to feel a wide range of emotions as we do
that—grief, anger, lots of joy, shame, gratitude,
and grandiosity to name a few. It is very helpful to
me that you are comfortable in the emotional and psychological
realm."
I
am grateful that June was able to share her experience
with me. You might have guessed that June is a therapist,
and we are considering working together to bring the
body accepting exercise approach to other survivors.
I am constantly reminded that the work I do is very
important.
Case
Study 5: Molly
After
June, I meet with Molly, who comes for a half-hour session
two times per week. She has also just started working
out with me. She came to me by chance, not by recommendation.
Molly is a large woman, a single mom of a teenager,
and works near the gym. She began her workouts because
she wanted to lose weight, and she was already on a
diet when I met her. About 6 weeks ago she sprained
her ankle very badly and had to stop coming to the gym.
This is her first day back. She has experienced a rough
6 weeks. Molly is disappointed in herself because she
gained a few pounds back during her convalescence. I,
of course, don't make a big deal of that, so it is easy
for her to come back to the gym. I see again and again
that making the workout not about the food keeps people
coming back to fitness.
I
let everyone be a winner, all day long. That's what
I do for a living. I don't judge anyone's beliefs, desires,
or goals. I find the exercises that work for my clients,
and then I help those clients get the exercises done.
I have a very simple approach. I call it the "unvicious"
cycle. I have people do a little bit so they feel good
when they leave. As they feel good, they move more and
show up more positively in the world. As my clients
get stronger physically, they have more confidence in
their bodies. That physical body confidence translates
positively into their whole lives. Whether it's playing
with kids, helping an elder or just sleeping better,
a body that feels better lives better.
Cinder
Ernst , has been working with people of all sizes
in the fitness industry for 17 years. She is a certified
Medical Exercise Specialist, aerobics instructor, and
personal trainer.
Cinder has been featured on Good Morning America, National
Public Radio, and in the San Francisco Chronicle for
her ground breaking work with large folks in San Francisco.
For more information call 415-699-5797. |
