Eating Disorders Articles - Working With a Coach During Eating Disorders Recovery

Working With a Coach During Eating Disorders Recovery

By Cindy Nappa Bitter, BS, CLC
Reprinted from Eating Disorders Today
Fall 2008 Volume 6, Number 4
©2008 Gürze Books

“I heard about life coaching from my doctor and I want to learn how to live without my eating disorder. Basically, I want to write a new life story…”

This was a phone message I recently received from a woman recovering from an eating disorder. As a professional coach of over fifteen years, I have found that most of my recovering clients have a common desire to create a new or more meaningful life, but they are unsure where to begin. While these clients are often in the later stages of recovery and less focused on the illness, it is not uncommon for individuals in earlier stages of recovery to express similar longings. Common concerns include:

• What do I want now (or next)?
• Where do I want to go?
• How can I achieve my goals?

Identifying goals, and creating action plans can be overwhelming, especially when letting go of thoughts and behaviors that are familiar and comforting. This is a good point to consider working with a life coach, because coaching isn’t about getting over a past; it is about designing and moving info a fulfilling future.

What is coaching?
Coaching is a supportive relationship in which you partner with a professional who has been specifically trained to help you develop personal and career goals. The process involves discovery, awareness, and empowerment to generate your own answers as you seek new paths and make powerful choices.

While this service has been around since the early 90s, in the last few years coaching has expanded into the field of eating disorder treatment and recovery. It is not a substitute or replacement for traditional therapeutic treatment, but rather complementary. Therapy and treatment must come first, with coaching added when you are ready to explore and develop your life without an eating disorder. You can work with a therapist and coach at the same time.

Pairing up with a professional coach who is knowledgeable about recovery ensures that you are working with someone who understands the common challenges, roadblocks, and pitfalls that can occur.

Is coaching the same as therapy?
No. This is a confusing issue for many recovering individuals as the two services are similar and may be used together.

A therapist, simply by nature of his or her work, does provide coach-like support to patients. However, therapy is a mental health service provided by a licensed professional who offers treatment for eating disorders and other psychological problems. A therapist must adhere to standards and guidelines that are regulated by state and federal licensing agencies. Therapy is covered under mental health insurance benefits.

Coaching is a non-clinical personal development service in which the individual sets the agenda, the goal, and the desired outcome. The field is not licensed, but is self-regulated by the coaching industry.

Sessions typically take place over the phone. This arrangement eliminates geographical limitations, although more professionals, including myself, are adding in-person meetings, especially in the beginning of the relationship. Yet even in-person sessions are unique, as they usually do not take place in an office environment, but in a public location. In addition, this service is not billable under health insurance, as it is not considered treatment.

How does coaching work during eating disorder recovery?
Recovery is a time of great transition, when you are making significant changes and you are learning to live without an eating disorder. Coaching helps with the more practical aspects of this part of recovery such as helping you figure out what you want and clarifying a direction. You can expect support right from the beginning, because no matter who you are working with, you are encouraged to be in the driver’s seat. This is your life and it is all about what you want. This is your time to discover your likes and dislikes, while working through any roadblocks. Once you clarify what you want, you will set goals together and the two of you will develop a plan of action for achieving them.

When Will I Know I’m Ready for Coaching?
A good starting point for working with a coach is when you are ready to move beyond the eating disorder. Ideally, this is when you are out of acute treatment (though you may still be in outpatient therapy), and are medically and psychologically stable. Perhaps you are looking to return to school or work, develop a career plan, or want to explore other possibilities for yourself. For some individuals, the right time is simply when they say, “I want to move forward in my life.” I see many individuals who say, “I don’t know what I want, but I need a different and more fulfilling life.” This expressed wish is often the first step in coaching—identifying what you want. A simple way to determine if you might benefit is by asking yourself these questions:

1. Am I motivated (i.e., wanting) to develop my next steps?

2. Can I follow through on homework assignments and action requests?

3. Can I be prepared for sessions and participate fully in the process?

4. Am I ready to make important changes so I can have the life I desire?

If you answered “no” to even one of these questions, you are not ready for coaching. Use this as an opportunity to explore your answers further with your therapist. Sometimes, the greatest breakthroughs happen when you feel most stuck. I had a client recently who thought she wanted coaching but it turns out she needed therapy. While her desire to change her life was high, her ability to do so was low. We realized this when she told me (at her second session) that what she wanted (her goal) was to simply understand the “why” of her eating disorder and that she didn’t want to change anything. While we applauded her ability to identify what she wanted, it wasn’t a coachable goal. Understanding the “why” of an eating disorder is a therapy goal. In the end, she did benefit from her experience, as she was able to recognize the need for further treatment, which she is currently receiving. Sometimes it takes a few sessions to know if coaching is truly the right path for you.

How do I find a coach?
The simplest way to find a coach is to get names and recommendations from therapists and friends, or conduct an online search. Some good search words include: “eating disorder coach,” “find a coach,” “recovery coach,” and “life coach.” There are excellent online professional sites and resources that can give you additional information. Three reliable organizations are: www.coachfederation.org, www.certifiedcoach.org, and www.europeancoachinginstitute.org.

Take the time to research and interview more than one prospective coach. Not all receive the same type of training or work in the same manner. And while not every one will have an expertise in eating disorders, it is important to work with someone who has at least a basic understanding of these complex illnesses. My clients tell me that it is my personal recovery experience that provides greater credibility and reassurance.

Recovery is your time to explore, discover, and design the best life possible. As a recovered individual, one of my greatest joys was realizing I could change and create the life I wanted. As a coach, I get to help others do the same for themselves. If you are unsatisfied with the direction of your life story, write a new script. And if you are unsure how to start, consider hiring a coach.

—

Cindy Nappa Bitter, BS, CLC, is a certified life coach who has had a private coaching business in Rochester, New York since 1993. She is the author of Good Enough… when losing is winning, perfection becomes obsession and thin enough can never be achieved. Cindy is also the founder of J.O.U.R.N.E.Y. (Just One person Understanding Recovery, Nurtures and Empowers You) life coaching for individuals recovering from eating disorders.

Additional Resources:
Far-Reaching Effects of Sexual Abuse
Fat is NOT JUST a Feminist Issue Anymore
Father Hunger
Fathers: A Potential Antidote to the "If Only I Were Skinny" Fantasy
Finding the Needle in the Haystack of Eating Disorders Care-Providers